The Ultimate Betrayal

     

     Cheating has been going on since man and woman were created, and it will continue to happen. Jesse James, Tiger Woods, Sean P-Diddy Combs, Eric Benet (Halle Berry can’t win), and even the young Chris Brown have this in common. I’m positive that you know of people who have cheated and who’ve been cheated on. Unfortunately this is a common issue in many relationships, and NO ONE is exempt from this possibly happening to them. However, the first two questions most women want to know when confronted with this issue is: Do you love her? Did you use protection? The revelation that you’re “in love” with another woman OR that you put our health at risk and didn’t “wrap it up” delivers devastating blows! We will want to grab YOUR valuables to break, throw at you, and hurt you because that’s how heart wrenching finding out that type of news can be. We think it can’t possibly get any worse until...We find out “she is pregnant” with your child?   

     Another woman having your baby is the ULTIMATE betrayal to us. We would rather you have a one night stand then to find out you’re having an “emotional affair” with another woman. We are possessive over who we love, and we need the affirmation of knowing we are THE ONLY woman to claim your heart. Therefore, if you have a long standing affair with another woman that means she now has a piece of what “we feel” belongs to us. Furthermore, creating a life with her is now a constant reminder of that connection. The baby is apart of you; A life that we didn’t create together, and this other woman will ALWAYS have a piece of you. All of these thoughts race through our head because we’re discovering that what we THOUGHT we had...Doesn’t FULLY belong to us. Even though finding out if you’re cheating IS an issue that’s hard to forgive, it is possible to work through that if we decide to stay. We figure working the relationship out is possible because this other person has no ties to you and can easily be erased from the picture. That idea however isn’t possible with a baby around. Another child forces that other woman to have a role in your life, which is something many of us can’t handle. Every-time we would “have” to see the other woman’s child, it would break our hearts again, because we’re reminded of your infidelity. Topple that with the fact that you put our health at risk and allowed another woman to connect that close with you.

  Is it possible to work a relationship out when a “love-child” is involved? I think yes because I know of couples who have. However, it’s a long road ahead back to happiness. The trust is completely gone, and a relationship with no trust isn’t a healthy one. If the man is willing to endure the arguments, her snide remarks, tracking his every move, jealousy, and excessively possessive ways in the beginning then they might make it to the other side. Question is do you think the relationship is worth saving? As a woman you have to ask yourself: Are you going to put in the work it takes to get back to a good place? I say this because it isn’t only him that has to put in the effort. You have decide is he worth your time, and what do you want for YOURSELF. With maturity I now believe that trusting someone isn’t believing that they’ll never break your heart, it’s the notion of knowing they’ll TRY their best not to do it. People are fallible and they do make mistakes; You just have to decide what’s your limit.    

   

*Note: I used the picture of Diddy and then pregnant girlfriend Kim Porter because she was carrying his daughters while his “side chic” was pregnant with his child. The kids are five months apart, and they shortly broke up after this revelation. He has cheated many times, but I guess the revelation of him creating a baby with another woman, was too much for her to bare.