You're Taken? So What!
I was in the house on a lovely Sunday afternoon hanging out with “the boyfriend” when the home phone rang (not the cell)...My boyfriend picked up the phone and was greeted by a male’s voice asking to talk to me...no this male was not a family relative but an ex-boyfriend from six years prior. As he handed me the phone, thoughts of confusion and anger ran through my head because I KNEW this looked bad.
“Hello” I said in a disgusted tone while the BF stared at me.
“Hey babygirl, how are you?!I Was that your man who answered?”
“Yes”....Cricket...Cricket....
“Oh ok , well give me a call when you can”....CLICK!
Now like Lucy I knew I had some explaining to do! Not only was I furious that this person felt it was okay to STILL call me knowing we weren’t friends, but he had the audacity to ask for me when he heard a male’s voice answer the phone! Once I calmed down I thought to myself, why do people find you more attractive when you’re taken? And why do certain people in committed relationships enable those interferences?
I really believe that that ex-lovers as well as random people we meet daily can smell the perfume of relationship ALL over someone once they become unavailable. In turn, there is something about a “taken” individual that ups the anti of attraction others have for them. Lets explore the fundamentals behind this ego driven concept. Many women will pursue a man knowing they’re in a relationship, and many men do the same. Now I’ve heard married people say that they’ve had more people approaching them when they wear their rings than without. Therefore, to test this theory out I went to two social events. One event I wore what appeared to be an engagement ring, and the other night I went ringless. Sure enough more men were prevalent the night I had on the ring! I had a steady string of fellas who did the across the room eye contact, as well as the courageous one’s who approached. I was with a friend who is also really married, and had her ring on. We got our drinks paid for, as well as our meal taken care of while we sat and talked. One of the men had on a ring as well, and yet no one brought up the “ring factor or relationship factor.” Again I ask, what is it about a person in a relationship that makes them so much more appealing? Furthermore, why do some people in relationships allow those outsiders in?
What is it About a Person in a Relationship That Makes Them So Much More Appealing?
The Challenge! The challenge of being able to conquer someone who’s heart belongs to another is an adrenaline rush like no other. The ego loves to be fed In both men and females, which is why cheating from both genders are statistically high. We not only view our partners as best-friends, BUT many times equate them to items which WE OWN or belong us. Where do you think the terms “MY husband, MY wife, and MY man/lady” originate from? Therefore, when a person or “prey” as I call them approaches you knowing you’re “taken,” they’re doing so partly because of this reason; They get a kick, sensation, high, or rush from getting the attention from a person who’s already bought and owned!
You’re In a “Situation, ME TOO!” This scenario is the most significant reason in my book. The prey is attracted to someone who CAN’T commit because neither can they; How could they when they are also in a relationship. Therefore, the prey actually approaches a taken person because they feel you’ll are on equal playing ground. Meaning, IF we decide to connect, there’s an “understanding.” The first agreement in the arrangement is that both sides have something to lose, which are their significant others, families etc. Therefore, no one will jepordize their current partners or have “relationship” expectations; It’s strictly business. The second assumption is knowing that the “hook-up” is about one thing only...SEX! (like you didn’t already know). In their mind if you’re taken, your “relationship” together is less of a headache! This brings me to the last “understanding” and that’s the fact that there are NO expectations of doing relationship things, such as calling them everyday or providing gifts on holidays. THE ONLY THING NEEDED IN THIS SITUATION AGAIN IS...yes that’s right SEX!
NO STRINGS ATTACHED! Okay people, this is self-explanatory and doesn’t take much breaking down. Your prey is attracted to you because they have zero desire to be a committed relationship at this point in their life. Therefore, instead of dating another single person who will eventually want a commitment, they go after the type of person who meets their desires for a non-committal situation.
The “Wife/Husband” Appeal! This is the scenario of “intrigue,” meaning your prey wants to find out; What is it about you that captured the heart of YOUR current partner? They want to know what qualities do you attain that made a person marry you? The problem I find here is that IF you decide to cheat with your prey; The rate of your prey falling in deep “like, lust or love” is higher. This situation can lead to serious repercussions when your prey starts to have relationship expectations that you can’t give. They will possibly want you to leave your significant other for them or get vindictive and sabotage your relationship with your partner. Right now I have a married friend who is in this situation. I can say from what was shared with me that they are very stressed by their prey right now. They are still very much in love with their spouse, cheated out of shear boredom, but has ZERO plans of leaving their marriage. What they thought would be a one time thing has turned into the movie Fatal Attraction. My friend is now scared of the repercussions and wishes they never would’ve bitten the forbidden fruit. My advice here was; IF there is a next time God forbid, make sure you pick a person who has the same interest as you...NO STRINGS ATTACHED!
In situations like this, I feel the ONLY person who’s responsible for having loyalty is the person who’s in a relationship. The fact that some people have zero issues pursuing someone else’s seconds is an immoral or “grimy” act. However, they are NOT in a relationship with your partner and owe them no moral judgement. WHO DOES owe them that respect is you, therefore it’s up to you to like the attention BUT walk away. IF you choose to fall for the bait, be prepared for the consequences IF you get caught.
