Where are all the good single men&women? "THEY STILL MAKE YOU?!"

Dedicated to  the pessimist----->optimist


Part III of "HE SAID/SHE SAID; what drives people to cheat?" was supposed to be my next article. Although I will still blog that topic, I've decided to deviate from the plan. The driving force behind this decision is of course due to the inspiration of my lovely friends. I received a humorous a text from one of my male friends saying, "T please help me, these women are killing me SLOW." After I finished LMAOOO, we had a heart to heart "TEXT convo" (SMH@technology!) on what exactly the problem was. The conversation made me realize what I thought all along and that is; Good single men...(YES I SAID GOOD AND MAN IN THE SAME SENTENCE) do exist! They're not extinct and YES mother nature STILL makes them! Not only were my beliefs of that justified, but I discovered they have the same issues we have dating, which is finding a "normal" person. By normal, I mean someone who has their head on straight in all areas, has a great personality, and someone you can make a true connection with. All of these qualities are VERY difficult to find dating today, and many single people have become pessimistic when it comes to finding that "special someone." However, I also learned that people have to start thinking outside the box and kill what they THINK their ideal person is. They also have to pay attention to red flags, such as insecurity issues. During our conversation we spoke about these things and he still wasn't optimistic. He stated, "I just want to be with someone, and be comfortable...but it's whatever, grad school and work will keep me busy." The minute he said that I felt like Renee Zellwigger in Jerry Mcguire, because he had me at hello! My humanitarian side kicked in, and I wanted to help. I thought of the perfect person for him, and knew I had to call her! With that being said, I sold him like a man in a cheap business suit to a girlfriend of mine, whose also lost hope. Therefore, this mission wasn't easy, and I had my hands full. I'm gald to report that a true connection was made, thus inspiring this article. I honestly believe that sometimes God puts people in your life in order to bring someone else in. If bringing them together was his purpose for me, then so be it. I say, USE ME UP! Most importantly, I believe these two people made a connection because they chose to look outside the box at the thought of meeting blindly; Gravitating away from the norm is a quality many are afraid to do. They INSPIRED one another because they chose to be their authentic selves, which is also a quality lacking in many.

These two aren't in love yet of course, but have found hope again. They didn't think they could find someone who is smart, funny, attractive, family orientated, and ambitious; All of important things they were searching for. If you still don't feel inspired that it's possible to find "the one," please read the comment a "blogee" left on one of my articles:        


Written by "Alpha Man"
"A lot of women make the claim that they can't find a good man. They usually make this statement to their real cool male friend who they talk to at work. Or the guy who is real cool with them that they chat with on facebook from time to time. This guy doesn't own a business. He isn't a lawyer. He doesn't play for the Knicks. He isn't finishing his rotation in med school. Instead, this guy works for UPS. This guy fills the vending machines for office buildings. This guy works for some random company. This isn't the dude who stops traffic with his looks. He doesn't have a 6 pack. He isn't 6'3. But you know what... he is a good man. So I will never ascribe to the notion that there are no good men out there. That is a bunch of bull. There are plenty of good men that get passed over every single day. I can tell you dozens of stories of good men (a lot I know from my fraternity brothers) who have so much love to give but never are given the time of day because they don't fit the picture image that a lot of women have in their heads. I have a female friend at my church who is extremely attractive. She is a lawyer and very successful. She owns her own home, owns her own car, frequents the gym and loves to travel. She said she wanted a good man. She was approached by a brother at our church that EVERYONE passed over. He isn't fine. He looks okay I guess but he stutters a lot. So it is difficult talking to him at times because you want to be polite and wait for him to get it out. But this brother has a good heart. So he approached her and asked her out. She went. On their first date, they sat up by the waterfront where we live and talked until the sun came up. She called me to tell me about it and said that he isnt normally her type so she was so confused as to what to do. I told her to follow her heart. The next day, she had a delivery of flowers (not just any flower but her favorite flower) to her job. She had BRIEFLY mentioned to him what her favorite flower is and he paid attention. Remember, this is the not cute stutterer. He had a lot of love to give but nobody would allow him to because they kept looking for the "good" man. To make a long story short, I was happy to receive their wedding announcement in the mail. Not only that, he spent 20K on her diamond boulder ring. Oh, he also had a lot of money to give but nobody gave him the chance. I was happy to attend their house warming in their new crib. And I was even happier to visit them in the hospital a few months ago to see their new baby girl. There are so many stories like this that I can share because I see them all the time or hear them from my brothers or male friends. My point? I think a lot of women pass over good men and a lot of women PURSUE what they see as a good man and they waste a lot of time. How about not going to lounges or clubs looking for a real man. What can you expect to find in a club??? How about church? How about Proverbs - a good man FINDS a wife and obtains favor from the Lord. I do like the social gathering at a friend's home though because you are more in control of the element invited. A club will bring knucleheads dressed up like "good" men. Sorry I got longwinded."


The moral of the story is if you're single out there BECOME INSPIRED! Don't be afraid to venture away from that list you own, which has all the qualities of your ideal mate. Try new ways when it comes to meeting people. Base your ideals of a "quality person" by their morals and great personality. Be your authentic self, and kill the the superficiality ideals you have unless you want to attract "the fake." If you want love based on a deeper connection, you have to learn to look within first. Once you do that, everything else good will follow.  

December 27, 2010 1:20 PM